Oh the weather outside is frightful, but drinks at ARVO are so delightful
FROM THE VAULT: March 8, 2013
Stella Grealy is a godsend.
HR orphans no more, she feeds us with an overflowing supply of Starburst, wipes our noses and our bums and lends a sympathetic ear when we communicate as only branding professionals know how: whining, complaining, moaning, groaning, venting, bitching, kvetsching, grumbling, empty-threats-ening, I just can't take it anymore-ing and the occasional full-out foot stomping.
But just yesterday she achieved the ultimate impossible. Like the great liberators before her, Stella will go down in history as She who unlocked the door. No longer must late arrivers, smoke breakers or packs of lunching designers queue up in the lobby waiting for the Almighty BOOP sound to unbolt the vault and let us in. No longer must Tanieka, Stephanie and Edwin aim that shoe-box size remote just right to disengage our Fort Knox security system. Ladies and gentlemen of FutureBrand, we are free to come and go as we please! Well, at least until we move to midtown and are subject to strip and full-cavity searches upon entry.
But all this newfound freedom comes at a steep price. Almost overnight, the Australians and Germans stormed the gates and added to their ranks.
With Phoebe and Courtney joining Camilla, the Aussies are back to full koala capacity.
And with Anuschka joining the company just yesterday, the Germans can now field an übermächtig basketball team of Daniel, Sven, Philine, Felix and Ansuchka.
It's only a matter of time before Holmfridur replaces the rest of us with more efficient, more sober Icelandic replacements…
Pack your bags, Mark. And welcome to the company, Bjarnhéðinn!
Scott Williams, meet your replacement, Ingveldur.
Move over, Malozzi. Ögmundur has never been bitten by a bug.
Joo, Joo, Ju and Dong Joo…ok, you can stay. But the rest of you…watch your back. Just because our office is in America doesn't mean we have to have Americans in the office. And with space at such a premium, we can pack in three slender Sigurbjörgs for every fat Joe from Jersey.
Fellow FutureBranders, children of the world, please join us tonight downstairs at Wildwood. Let's say 6 pm. But since Jim just left and Holmfridur's 30,000 feet above Tennessee about now, mmmmaybe we can sneak down a little earlier. And let's do our best to entice our newest FutureBranders, Paul and Anuschka, to the party. Paul has worked with Darren a whopping total of four times. Let that sink in a minute. Paul. Has. Worked. With. Darren. Four. Times. That fact alone merits him an ARVO budget all his own.